“Cure for pain is in the pain.” Rumi
You don’t often see pain and positive in one sentence. We have been taught for too long and too often that pain is bad, negative, unwanted. No one wants to be in pain, that’s for sure and I would have never encouraged you to seek pain. But here is the deal. Life isn’t only about a sunshine and rainbow. Sometimes it gets tough and unpleasant. So what do you do then?
My obsession about pain began the moment when I understood that it may destroy people’s lives. Too many of us fell into depression, start to have suicidal thoughts or simply give up on life because they have never learned how to manage problems and hardships.
In this article, I want to point out for you everything good about pain, the strength, and courage which comes with it. The positive side of pain is often overlooked by many because of the status it has among society. Don’t misunderstand me. I don’t believe that we should ultimately live in the pain. But I am certain we need to learn how to work with it better when it shows up.
These are 6 positive emotions I have found in pain and have been using them since the day one.
1. Desire for change
Pain causes change. I bet you already know that. So, think about it. When you are at the place in your life which doesn’t match the life you actually desire, you are living in the pain from your present situation. Do you want to feel this way? Of course not, no one does. But this feeling of dissatisfaction is what pushes you, it challenges you to take a step, to try unknown.
Pain creates a desire for a better life since the one you are living right now doesn’t match your blueprint. It doesn’t reflect your dreams, goals or values. So what do you do to get rid of this pain? More than likely, you act. You get fed up and fired up at the same time. You understand quickly that the only way to eliminate this pain is by changing the current situation which will eventually create pleasure.
2. Kick-Ass Attitude
With desire comes strength. Your fed up moment which may seem negative at first will become a fuel afterward. It’s the flash of realization that you have been settling up for less than you deserve for too long. It has been going on for some time when one day you say ENOUGH. Enough of others bullshit, enough of pain, enough of struggle. It is the moment when all those doubts and fear just die because the pain of living the life you don’t want becomes your biggest inspiration.
Kick-ass attitude doesn’t mean anger or arrogance. It means confidence and inner drive. This breaking point when you finally open your eyes and see the world as it is. Full of opportunities, positive things, and endless growth. This empowered attitude will drive you and give you every reason to keep going, to level up.
3. Unstoppable growth
For many years I looked back on myself and wondered, “Why did I have to go through this? Why life seems to be so tough and difficult?” Of course with this mindset, I never got an answer. It was like searching for a fish in the desert.
After I read the first book from Tony Robbins “Awaken the giant within”, everything started to make sense. The way he described pain and pleasure was one of the simplest and most effective knowledge I have ever received. Not because it was something new in the world, but because it changed my perspective. Suddenly, everything fell into place.
So, I took a second look at my past. It became absolutely clear that 99% of the time, my biggest breakthrough came from the biggest pain. And 99% of the time, it was a positive breakthrough. Every pain serves a purpose, it’s a teacher and a lesson. What you consider as the worst thing in your life will become the most valuable tool for personal growth and building your self-esteem.
If you are going through some tough times right now, remember one thing. You are in the process of a tremendous growth. It may be hard to see it now since you are vulnerable, feeling broken. But later on, when you look back, you will be thankful for every hardship life has prepared for you.
4. Empathy towards others
Everyone has a different purpose but one thing we all have in common. Each of us should make a positive difference in someone’s life. It is without the question the highest form of service we can do while breathing.
Your pain will one day become someone’s foundation for creating extraordinary things. You’ll understand people’s feelings much better. If you know what the financial struggle is, you can help poor. If you know what it is to live in a broken marriage and go through a divorce, you can support those who go through the same thing. If you lost a loved one, you can be someone’s best bud when the same thing happens to them. And the difference you can make in one person’s life can change lives of hundreds, if not thousands of people all around the world and I explain how.
Let’s say that you bring food to a family who is financially struggling because you have experienced the same situation. The person who receives this food will become extremely grateful for your generosity. This may become a breaking point in this person’s life because you inspire them to do the same for others. 5 years go by, this man or a woman is running an organization and feeds poor. These types of stories happen every day and they are all around us. Because of your empathy which came from pain, you are changing the world.
5. The mindset of “Not giving a F**k”
For many years, tons of my focus went to what people think about me. It was a pretty painful experience since it felt like I have to please others, fulfill their expectations and wishes. Let me tell you something. This is one of the biggest misconceptions we have. I wasn’t the first and certainly not the last who felt this way and honestly, you can’t satisfy everyone.
I don’t want to encourage you to embrace selfishness. But living with the mindset “what will they think about me” it’s like a mental prison for life. It’s hard to find your inner greatness if all you do is focusing on satisfying others perception of who you should be. Screw ’em, follow your heart! It really is that simple.
The attitude of not giving a fuck is the best self-service and the only way to become fulfilled. No one is born with the label “people pleaser.” Focus on what is important to you and what matters to you, not the rest of the world.
6. Unbeatable mental strength
Let’s say that you just broke up with someone who you taught was the love of your life. I mean, we all have been there. At first, it hurts so much, you doubt if you can ever recover from such a pain. One month goes by, two months go by and when you look back after a year, you feel relieved that you ended this relationship. You are much wiser, much stronger. Can you resonate?
It’s difficult to see benefits in pain when you feel it. All you want is to feel good. And eventually, you will. Nothing lasts forever. And once this moment, day, week or a month pass, the empowerment which comes after has no price tag. I bet that when you look back on your life, on any hardship, you’ll agree with me that most of the time, it turned out to be the best lesson.
We all chase pleasure, good things and happiness. But how can we recognize the good if we don’t experience bad?
We can’t live with the pain forever, it’s impossible. But we can learn how to work with difficulties and use them in a positive way. These 6 positive emotions I have listed for you above are only a fraction of everything empowering what comes after pain. So if you are going through some shitty times, keep your head up and remember that the bad will always pass and most of the time, pain carries its lesson. Embrace it and own it.
What is the most positive thing you have gained from pain? Leave a comment below.