“Change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.” Robin Sharma
You feel stuck. On the inside, you are dying to move forward, to change your life, job, relationship, but you feel paralyzed. “What if the future will be worse than the present? What if I can’t handle what’s coming? What if I never find anyone who can love me?”
These are common questions or better say, thought processes which we deal with while approaching the change. One of the main reasons why we sacrifice our happiness for staying in the comfort zone is the fear of unknown. The process of making a change seems more painful than pain from staying at the place in our lives which we don’t like and don’t enjoy. How can we make changes with this mindset? By shifting our pain and linking more pleasure to change.
I bet you have ended up in the situation where you say “enough is enough.” It is the state of mind where you don’t care about the unknown, and you don’t even think about it. The only thing you want right now, at this moment, is getting out of the pain of your present situation and create something better.
Let me share with you 5 things about change which will help you in making your personal transformation easier, faster and more efficient.
1. Linking your pain to your present situation
The crucial thing while making a significant change in your life is linking enough pain to your current situation. The truth is that if you minimize the negative impact of your current situation on your life, you won’t be motivated enough to make a change. Some people are dying to get another job or start a business from scratch, but they never do it. How come? They don’t link enough pain to where they are right now. They get satisfied with the fact that the job they currently have pays bills and they use this excuse as a reason.
You need to develop some degree of urgency. See the change as a necessary step and not some horrifying activity. Nothing can stop you from personal transformation as much as your mind and interpretation of the change.
2. What will I lose if I don’t make a change?
Commit yourself to find an answer to these questions. What can you lose if you don’t change? What amazing things will you miss out on if you stay where you are right now, in your little “safe” comfort zone?
Remember that your body prevents you only from a short-term pain. In this situation, short-term pain symbolizes action while making a change. At first, it seems like you save yourself some troubles and escaped painful feelings, but this is only an illusion. That’s why we train our minds and don’t let them do whatever the heck they want. The natural protective mechanism in your body doesn’t give you any protection at all. It only postpones what you need to do.
3. The pleasure of making a change
Once you come up with good enough reasons why making a change is necessary, you need to secure your future action with all the positive things change represents. Make a list of pros and cons. This simple exercise will show you how many benefits you will gain if you decide to work on your personal transformation.
Let’s say that you live in a relationship where there is no passion, where you have no common interest with the other person, where your values don’t resonate with values of your partner, and deep down, both of you know that break up would have been the best option. But making this change is often difficult for us because we are scared of being alone. Maybe we think that’s the best we can experience in our intimate relationship. That’s why making an honest list will show you the truth you may not want to see.
Fear is a feeling, not only the state of mind. Making a list of positive things which come with the change is important as much as using your logical side. Pain from being at the place in your life which you dislike is the only feeling you should listen to. Rest of your feelings are trying to prevent you from making a positive transformation, and that’s why you need to stay rational.
4. One life
That’ it. That’s all you’ve got. How are you planning to live it? In regret, fear or misery? Why staying in pain from living the life we don’t want seems much easier than acting in spite of fear and grabbing what we deserve?
Sometimes we act like we are cats and have many more lives available. Then we reach 60, 70 or 80 years of our lives, living in regret day in and day out. Is this the future you want to have? I bet not.
Then one of the primary things you need to start doing now is finding your inner motivation. What motivates you? What drives you to take action? Is it some past memory or an event?
We all have that one or two reasons why we are acting the way we do. Find your inner motivation, find your WHY. It will give you enough mental strength and reasons to work on your personal transformation which you are dying to achieve.
5. Shifting perspective
As I mentioned earlier, the big impact on our decision to change has how we see the change. Not only now, but also in the future, most of the changes we make are positive and beneficial to our well-being. Since I am a big believer in instinct, if you feel that you need to change something, you more than likely do. That’s why we have feelings and instinct. They let us know that something isn’t right so we can change it.
Working on shifting your perspective is crucial if you want to learn how to make changes quicker and smoother. If you can understand that changes are part of life and that your comfort zone doesn’t represent a real comfort, you’ll discover a new level of freedom and more courage to do what you need to do.